Try Even a Little at Conferences

Conferences exist to build human connections.

Happily, the bar for doing well at a conference is extremely low. Most academics—especially grad students—are shy and spend the whole time hanging out with people they already know. Also happily, people are generally nice, have plenty of time, and would also like to meet others, but don’t want to put in the effort.

So, tips:

1. Be kind to people.⁰¹

2. If someone has bad vibes, be polite, but meet other people.

3. Set your expectations very low but try to do them. E.g., meet 1 new person a day.

   • Most people just clique up. Lots of people will be socialed out. Again, the bar is really low here.
   • (But, I must insist: hearing someone’s poster spiel doesn’t count.)
   • This is the most important tip.

4. When possible, be genuinely interested in people and their research.

   • This is not always possible, because some research is truly boring.
   • But a lot of people are shy, and need some help getting out of their shell.
   • Plus, great people sometimes do boring research.
   • So, put in some extra effort at the start, just to get the conversation going.
   • I like to ask myself, “What are the odds I can learn absolutely nothing from this person?” This always seems impossible, and it’s a good motivator to learn one thing!
   • You won’t be able to keep up the relationship if you’re not truly interested anyway.

5. Invite new people for a meal or drink.

   • Even famous people attending usually don’t have many plans.
   • This is doubly true for the rest of us.
   • Anecdote: I can’t remember ever turning down an invitation at a conference.
   • Anecdote: I’ve had meals with professors I would have been terrified to even introduce myself to because another grad student had the courage to simply ask them to lunch.

6. Keep up with people long term.

   • Nobody does this at all, so even a small effort can bring about an academic relationship.
   • Again, set your goals low. Maybe keep up with 1 person from the conference. Email them once every 3 months with some ideas.